Best Replies Ever

This might be the best thing I’ve seen in a while :

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here.
I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money” : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”.
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advise that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO 

Advertisements

Coach Carter Best Quotes

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. You playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”.

Scarface Quotelicious

Directed by Brian De Palma, along with the scintillating screenplay by Oliver Stone, as well as outstanding performances given by a brilliant cast, the 1983 movie, Scarface, is one of my all time favorite gangster movies, next only to The Godfather.
The story is set in the year 1980 when Fidel Castro allows Cubans to go to the United States to join their families there. While most of the 125,000 who left Cuban shores at that time for the freedom that America represented to them were hard working and honest people, about 25,000 of them had criminal records, who Castro hade just wanted to get rid of. These people too viewed America as a place that had untold opportunities for them, and amongst these was Tony Montana, played superbly by Al Pacino, better known to his companions as ‘Caracortada’, or ‘Scarface’.
The movie also has a superb performance by Michelle Pfeiffer as Elvira Hancock, along with other excellent supporting cast such as Miriam Colon as Mama Montana, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio as Gina, Paul Shenar as Sosa, F. Murray Abraham as Omar, Harris Yulin as Bernstein, Al Israel as Hector The Toad, Steven Bauer as Manny, Robert Loggia as Frank Lopez, and so on. Edgy and in-your-face, here are some of the memorable Scarface quotes that bring to mind the unforgettable scenes from this movie.
Fidel Castro: ¡No los queremos! ¡No los necesitamos! (We don’t want them! We don’t need them!)
Tony Montana: I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.
Tony Montana: I kill a communist for fun, but for a green card, I gonna carve him up real nice.
Bernstein: Every day above ground is a good day.
Frank Lopez: Lesson number one: Don’t underestimate the other guy’s greed!
Elvira Hancock: Lesson number two: Don’t get high on your own supply.
Tony Montana: In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.
Tony Montana: Who put this thing together? Me, that’s who! Who do I trust? Me!
Elvira: Don’t toot your horn honey, you’re not that good.
Omar: Watch my back.
Tony Montana: Better than your front, lemme tell you. Much easier to watch.
Immigration Officer: Okay, so what do you call yourself? ¿Cómo se llama?
Tony Montana: Antonio Montana. And you, what you call yourself?
Immigration Officer: Where’d you learn to speak the English, Tony?
Tony Montana: Uh, in a school. And my father, he was, uh, from the United States. Just like you, ya know? He was a Yankee. Uh, he used to take me a lot to the movies. I learn. I watch the guys like Humphrey Bogart, James Cagney. They, they teach me to talk. I like those guys. I always know one day I’m comin’ here, United States.
Alejandro Sosa: Alberto is an expert in the disposal business.
Tony Montana: You wanna waste my time? Okay. I call my lawyer. He’s the best lawyer in Miami. He’s such a good lawyer, that by tomorrow morning, you gonna be working in Alaska. So dress warm.
(after Tony gives her a large wad of money)
Mama Montana: Who did you kill for this?
Mama Montana: (to Tony, her son) You know, all we read about in the papers today are animals like you and the killings. It’s Cubans like you who are giving a bad name to our people. People who come here to work hard and make an honest living for themselves.
Tony Montana: Now you’re talking to me, Baby.
Elvira: Don’t call me "Baby". I’m not your "Baby".
Frank Lopez: Tony, don’t kill me, please!
Tony Montana: I ain’t gonna kill you.
Frank Lopez: Oh Christ, thank you! Thank you!
(Tony turns to Manny)
Tony Montana: Manolo, shoot that piece of shit!
Tony Montana: (watching flamingos on TV) Come on, pelicans! Fly, fly away!
Elvira: So do you want to dance, Frank, or do you want to sit there and have a heart attack?
Frank Lopez: Me, dance? Hey, I think I wanna have a heart attack.
Elvira Hancock: Nothing exceeds like excess. You should know that, Tony.
Tony Montana: Every dog has his day, huh, Mel?
Mama Montana: (to Tony) Why do you have to hurt everything you touch? Why do you have to destroy everything that comes your way? ¡Malagradecido! ¡Mal hijo! (Ungrateful! Bad son!)
Elvira Hancock: How dare you talk to me like that! What makes you so much better than me? What do you do? Kill people? Deal your drugs? Real contribution to human history Tony! What makes you think you can be a father? You don’t even know how to be a good husband!
Tony Montana: You know what your problem is… pussycat?
Elvira: What’s my problem Tony?
Tony Montana: You got nothing to do in your life meng!
Elvira Hancock: Can’t you see what we’re becoming, Tony? We’re losers. We’re not winners, we’re losers.
Tony Montana: Go home. You stoned.
Elvira Hancock: I’m not stoned. You’re stoned.
Tony Montana: Look at that guy. What’s he got that I don’t got?
Manny: Well, he’s very handsome for one thing…
Tony Montana: What you tell ’em?
Manolo Ray: I told ’em what you told me to tell ’em, I told ’em I was in sanitation, they didn’t go for it.
Tony Montana: Sanitation? I told you to tell ’em that you was in a sanitarium, not sanitation, sanitarium.
Tony Montana: Me, I want what’s coming to me.
Manny: Oh, well…what’s coming to you?
Tony Montana: The world, Chico, and everything in it.